Thursday, November 15, 2007

Just hangin out in cyberspace!!!

Lately, I have spent entirely too much time in the Internet cafe'. Hours, in fact, since Artyom and 'Andy" are in school during the day and Zhenya is an hour and a half away waiting for two more days until his Papa and Mama will take him home forever.

I am beginning to get those swirly halos dancing in front of my eyes. It wouldn't be so bad if so a mouth would appear on the monitor and begin to console in my native tongue. Ahhh, the sound of English is so soothing. Yes, Mark and I are still speaking and still best friends, but he is presently consumed with catching up on NFL (for those who still care, the Patriots are 9-0). Please, I am just the messenger!! Then there is the Star Trek, the old William Shatner series. Is there anything else? Mark reminds me of how he wants to purchase the entire 79 episodes on DVD. "I can dream, can't I?", he pleads for sympathy. Then, when I told him I'd like to watch a movie last night he suggests the Special Features on The Incredibles, which he has seen for the last three days! See what I mean? O.K., I admit, I may be sounding a little stir crazy. After all, isn't this the very results (brain malfunction and visual impairment) that we lecture our computer savvy children about.

I miss the sound of my children fussing and fighting over a toy or who is irritating who. (My family and friends have my permission to remind me of this admission in a month when we are all experiencing the "togetherness" again.) I miss sitting on my own potty, in my own bathroom and I understand why I was born after western toilets were invented. I do not miss though, living in the 80's anymore. What do I mean? The fashion (very sparkly and furry for women) and the music ringing in my ears, in the taxis, restaurants and Internet cafe' is very reminiscent of the 80s and early 90's. Not all bad, but I guess this is where I am feeling my age. I miss my daughters who have been my greatest supporters and e-mail buddies. I miss our homeschool playgroup on Friday afternoons and one hundred other things I haven't mentioned but that are equally as important. I miss just picking up the phone to check in on my family or friends without hearing a Russian speaking operator on the other end speaking to me incoherently about how I am not getting through.

I do know now why God said, "No, you will not be living for years in a foreign country as a missionary," in answer to my childhood prayers. It is not the romanticised life I imagined as an idealistic child, dreaming of how I could make the world a better place.

I will return home to America with a greater appreciation for so many things we take for granted. I will make it foremost in my thoughts and prayers to consider the great sacrifices that individuals and families who are called to be in the mission fields of the uncomfortable for a lifetime and who do it with joy. These are real sacrifices.


Kathy & Matt said...

Thinking of you as your are missing home! I can only imagine how tough it is, but stay focused on the end goal as it is in sight.
Your post reminded me to figure out what movies/shows to take so we are both enjoying the entertainment.
Keeping you all in my prayers.

Tami said...

I think this is the part of the process that I am dreading the most. The in-country wait. We stayed in Russia for three weeks for Punky and JacJac's adoption in 2002 and I have to be honest with you...I didn't handle it as well as you are.
I am hoping this time we have brought enough books, music and DVDs to keep us busy in the evenings and have enough courage to get out and sight-see during the day.
I guess we'll know in two weeks how well we did. In the meantime, if you need someone to hang out with you in cyberspace just let me know. ;>)

Leslie said...

How's it going, T? I'm heading back next Friday. You'll have to let me know how the embassy goes. Praying you can get home soon!

adoptedthree said...


Just think what you have gained as well two beautiful boys!!! :)